From Dawid and Solomon: Will the Hebrews Ever Get Marriage Right? A Deeper Look into the Modern Marriages of the Ancient Hebrew Federation

Intro
Two weeks ago, during Shabbat service, Nz’r Remy Illona asked, “Can the contemporary Igbo marriage work without the institutions of Omenana in place?" This question wasn't anything revealing, controversial, or innovative, in my opinion. At least, I felt it wasn't until I had a chance to digest the depth of the inquiry. He’d asked this question before. No one had an answer, or at least no one was willing to say it. I replied rigorously, enough to irritate the elders to a degree. The young men keep the elders sharp, and the elders hold the young men in line. But Remy wasn't looking for a prideful answer that avoided accountability because someone's gender pride was hurt. He wanted to spark something within our community. He tried to provoke deep thought within the Igbo people. Most importantly, he wanted me to stop talking and think. I failed this test twice…

I think that he made this statement out of fear. Our ancestral way of living and survival is at stake—a vital ritual of the Igbo culture that survived the Transatlantic Slave Trade and colonization. Traditional Igbo marriage, the very structure of its community, is being dismantled, and contemporary Igbos are willing participants. I will attempt to answer Chief Nz’r Remy Illona’s question: Can the contemporary Igbo marriage work without Omenana? The answer is no. I could conclude this article here. A good apprentice would forbear so his principal would know he is listening and waiting to learn. But I consider myself a great apprentice! My statement above stands. The young men keep the elders sharp, and the elders hold the young men in line.

Part 1: The Great Migration – From Tribalism to Urbanization
The Igbo people, whose culture is Omenana, were an Ancient Hebrew Federation—a priestly nation of farmers and merchants known for retaining their authentic biblical Israelite culture. For millennia, they maintained their unique tribal traditions despite having experienced multiple mass migrations. From the Transatlantic Slave Trade to the Biafran wars to ethnic genocide, the Igbo people have shown resilience. But now we face a new enemy, urbanization. As Igbo people, especially the younger generation, move to urban areas like Lagos, Abuja, and abroad for education and employment opportunities, they are exposed to different cultural norms and values. In these environments, divorce is less stigmatized, and the idea of "individual happiness"—a Christian dogma—often takes precedence over traditional notions of family and community. Weakened by anti-Semitic genocides and the largest-scale forced migration to date, the Transatlantic Slave Trade, Igbos simply couldn't survive the onslaught of urbanization.

In traditional Igbo society extended families—including elders—played a crucial role in mediating marital conflicts and resolving issues. The Umuada (daughters’ council) and Ndinyom (married women’s guild), ancient authorities established to address social problems and enforce justice, are no longer present due to urbanization. Many couples live separately from their extended families. An alarming amount are not even married to other Igbo, leading to a co-mingled culture with a cluster of issues and cultural differences, with no mediating influences and a greater reliance on personal decisions. Today, Igbo living in areas like Lagos, Abuja, the US, and the UK face divorce rates in the 30 to 40 percent range. This style of urbanization was introduced during the evangelization of the Igbo people and further implemented via feminism and urbanization. I think I've been disrespectfully transparent about my position on both topics. It isn't a coincidence; these tactics are carefully planned and implemented by those who oppose the great people of the book.

Empowerment of Women:
The shift away from traditional tribal structures has also empowered Igbo women through access to education and employment opportunities. With greater financial independence and the ability to provide for themselves, women are now more likely to initiate divorce if they are unhappy in their marriage, whereas, in the past, divorce was present and available to all Igbo women but was often seen as a last resort.

Global Social Media and Media Exposure:
Increased access to global media and social networks has made people more aware of divorce trends in other parts of the world. The normalization of divorce in many cultures has led some Igbo people to reconsider the stigma attached to divorce in their community.

Exposure to New Legal Frameworks:
The global discourse on human rights, gender equality, and personal well-being has encouraged many Nigerians to embrace legal avenues for addressing issues in marriage. This is particularly evident in urbanized Igbo communities, where divorce can be pursued through legal channels rather than relying on family or traditional mediation.

Reinterpretation of Tribal and Religious Beliefs:
While tribal and religious teachings like Omenana continue to influence attitudes toward marriage, there is a growing reinterpretation of these beliefs. Some modern Igbo individuals view marriage as an evolving partnership rather than a rigid, lifelong duty, contributing to an increasing openness to divorce when necessary.

The Great Fall of Traditional Tribal Mediation
We have embarked on the decline of tribalism. While it is still practiced and taught throughout the Hebrew diaspora and in the present Igbo communities, its remnants are seen only aesthetically. Tribalism’s core value is non-existent. Let's review the breakdown of traditional tribal mediation.

Weakening of Traditional Authority:
The decline in the power of traditional elders and the communal approach to resolving marital conflicts means that the role of the family and community in preventing or addressing marital breakdown has diminished. In the past, Igbo couples were often encouraged to work through their issues with the guidance of family and elders. Today, with fewer tribal authorities and a more individualistic approach, couples are more likely to seek divorce when faced with insurmountable problems.

Rise of Legal Systems Over Tribal Courts:
The introduction of the Nigerian legal system, which includes civil courts for divorce and marriage matters, has also reduced the influence of traditional tribal courts or councils. This has made divorce more accessible and socially acceptable, particularly in urban areas, where people are more likely to embrace legal routes for dissolving marriages.

Financial Independence and Autonomy:
A key factor contributing to divorce rates is the increasing financial independence of both men and women in Igbo communities, particularly in urban areas. As Igbo women became more educated, they threw away the ways of the women before them, who were the pillars of merchant trading and production in our ancient community. During an interview with our sister Lynda B, I was surprised to hear her position on marriage. She stated: “I would love to marry like we married in the old days. I want to have a business, sell my products, and raise our children like we did when Omenana was in place.” This was refreshing to hear, but it doesn’t change the fact that many have entered the workforce and are less financially reliant on their husbands. This independence allows them to leave unhappy marriages more quickly than earlier generations.

Economic Pressures:
The economic challenges of modern life, including high living costs, job insecurity, and the pressure to maintain a particular lifestyle, have placed additional stress on marriages. These economic pressures can sometimes lead to divorce as couples struggle to meet their financial obligations.

Part 2: Stiff-Necked Peoples – Keeping the Modern Practice of Biblical Solomon
The Igbo’s Marriage to Biblical Strange or Foreign Cultures:
The gatekeepers of the Ancient Hebrew Federation, the Igbo people, never learned the lesson taught in the Tanakh. As Hebrews, we Igbos have memorized the fantastic tales of David and Solomon. I am a victim of this stigma. I can tell you how many wives and concubines David and Solomon had without opening my phone or a book. Yet, my first wife was of a strange culture, and I paid the price even after the divorce. During an interview with our sister Chioma Leonard, she reminded me, “At my age, I have never left her father's home, and I have no children. This is how things were done with ancestors; this is how I was raised.” Rather, it is marriage as Aniefuna in America or the marriage of an Igbo and a Yoruba in Lagos. It doesn’t work, never has, and never will. Let's dive deeper into culturally open marriages and the co-mingled cluster we call modern marriage.

The factors contributing to high divorce rates in Lagos among Igbo and Yoruba couples are somewhat similar for Igbo individuals married to Hausa and Fulani partners, but there are notable differences. These differences arise from the varying cultural, religious, and social norms between the tribes and the complexities of inter-ethnic marriages in the urban environment of Lagos. Here's a breakdown of how these factors play out in marriages between Igbo individuals and members of the Hausa and Fulani tribes:

Cultural Differences and Inter-Ethnic Marriages:
Cultural Tensions: Marriages between Igbo and Hausa/Fulani individuals can sometimes be influenced by cultural differences, especially around expectations for gender roles, family structures, and community norms. The Igbo traditionally have more flexibility in gender roles, particularly with women taking more active roles in professional and social life. At the same time, the Hausa and Fulani cultures are more conservative, with traditional patriarchal structures that emphasize more rigid gender roles.

Adaptation and Tension: In Lagos, where modernization and urbanization have reduced the influence of rural tribal customs, Igbo individuals may find it easier to adapt to the more cosmopolitan setting, while their Hausa or Fulani partners may struggle with adjusting to modern, less-traditional gender expectations. This tension can contribute to marital dissatisfaction and, in some cases, divorce.

Influence of Religion:
Religious Differences: Religion plays a significant role in the dynamics of marriages between Igbo and Hausa/Fulani people. The Igbo are predominantly Christians and Hebrews, while the Hausa and Fulani are predominantly Muslims. While both religions share certain ethical and moral teachings, their views on marriage, divorce, and gender roles can differ substantially.

Islamic Views on Divorce: Islam permits divorce, but there are prescribed processes that emphasize reconciliation, and divorce is generally seen as a last resort. This can lead to a situation where the Hausa or Fulani partner may be more hesitant to divorce due to religious beliefs. In contrast, the Igbo partner, particularly if they are more secular or less traditional in their Christian views, may be more open to divorce.

Christian Views on Divorce: Christianity, particularly in the conservative branches practiced by many Igbo, also discourages divorce, but many younger Igbo Christians, particularly in urban settings like Lagos, are alienated from their ancestral culture Omenana and are influenced by changing social norms, Afrobeats artists, and new legal frameworks, making divorce more acceptable. In such mixed marriages, these different religious teachings can create friction, especially when marital problems arise. Without Omenana, which would require both parties to be of Igbo stock and trained in the culture of Omenana, these unions often start in lust and end in turmoil.

Economic Factors and Financial Independence:
Like Igbo individuals married to fellow Igbos or Yoruba partners, Igbo women married to Hausa and Fulani men in Lagos are increasingly empowered by economic independence. As they gain more access to education and careers, they have more control over their financial situations and are less dependent on their husbands. This financial autonomy is a key factor in the rising divorce rates, as women are more likely to seek divorce if they are dissatisfied with the marriage.

Urbanization and Social Integration:
Modernization in Lagos: As in marriages between Igbo and Yoruba couples, those between Igbo and Hausa/Fulani couples in Lagos are affected by the city’s urban, modernizing influence. Lagos offers both Igbo and Hausa/Fulani individuals opportunities for education, employment, and social mobility, but these opportunities also introduce new indoctrination into the views of marriage. The expectations around marriage change, with many individuals focusing more on personal fulfillment and emotional well-being, a Christian propaganda tool which may lead to divorce when these needs are not met.

Cultural Clash in Urban Settings: While traditional Hausa and Fulani communities may have more rigid marriage norms, in Lagos, where Igbo and Hausa/Fulani individuals mix with other ethnic groups, there is more flexibility. However, the cultural differences between Igbo and Hausa/Fulani individuals may sometimes cause strain in a marriage, particularly when it comes to decision-making, gender roles, and family dynamics.

Family and Community Support:
Role of Extended Families: Igbo and Hausa/Fulani cultures place a high value on family, but the role of extended families in marriages may differ. In traditional Igbo society, extended family members, especially elders, play a central role in resolving marital issues. The Hausa and Fulani also involve extended families and community elders in resolving matrimonial conflicts. Still, their approach may be more conservative, with a strong emphasis on family reputation and social harmony.

Weakened Role of Traditional Mediation: In Lagos, where both partners may be distanced from their extended families, traditional methods of resolving marital disputes can be less effective. Couples may feel isolated, with fewer people from their communities to intervene or offer mediation, leading to quicker recourse to divorce as a solution.

Social Stigma and Divorce:
Cultural Stigma: Divorce may carry different levels of stigma in the Igbo and Hausa/Fulani cultures. The Igbo, particularly in urban settings, may have become more accepting of divorce as a social norm, while in Hausa/Fulani communities, divorce may still carry more significant stigma, particularly for women. This cultural difference can lead to varying levels of pressure on both partners, where the Igbo individual may feel freer to pursue divorce. Still, the Hausa/Fulani partner may feel reluctant or conflicted due to cultural and family expectations.

Gender Dynamics: In some cases, divorce in a Hausa/Fulani family may be seen as more acceptable if the wife has been mistreated or if the marriage is nonfunctional, especially in cases of polygamy. However, in more conservative communities, a woman seeking divorce may still face significant social rejection, which could deter her from initiating divorce proceedings, even if she faces marital problems.

Conclusion:
It is clear that the contemporary Igbo marriage, without Omenana in place, is a dysfunctional marriage incapable of surviving today's social landscape. Without the culture and authentic biblical Israelite teachings and institutions of Omenana, the contentious nature of the great egalitarian peoples, combined with the blending of foreign cultures, is a recipe for disaster and cultural unrest. Neither transplants nor natives can survive without their ancestral culture, and they are sure to traumatize someone's daughter, and they are likely to be traumatized as well. The Honorable Rabbi Remy Illona's question brings us to the chilling realization: Our unions can't last without Omenana. Will we carry on the legacy of our ancient brothers Dawid and Solomon, or will we revert to our ancestral essence and receive Chukwu’s blessings? Or will we dwindle into nothingness due to our ignorance? Omenana is the only answer, and it's time for the contemporary Igbo to digest this.